If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
