hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I did not marry a roomba.
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