R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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