Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize