What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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