We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
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