Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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