God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
