U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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