when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
