Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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