girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
