she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
