Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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