He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
