so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
