if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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