after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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