About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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