Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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