I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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