I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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