You were right. It hurts to walk today.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
