OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
