How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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