I'm drive I can fine osifer
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
