Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize