My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
