God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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