best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
