Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
