Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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