I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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