I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
