i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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