all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He kissed a someone with a penis
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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