not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
