So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
it glows. i had to have it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
