I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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