Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
