he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
