Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
