Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
