You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
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