That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
