well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
