everyone is single if you try hard enough
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
