Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
