Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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