Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
