Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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