I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
