Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
