am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't want my vagina anymore.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
