It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
