my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I don't think brook has ever known best
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
