I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize