I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
