what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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