Kiss
Puke
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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