So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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