And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
