Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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