omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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